I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I looked at my own cervix.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We need to rekindle our bromance
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
