You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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