Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's never too late to be topless.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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