If i come over, it means nothing
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
