So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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