smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
