So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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