I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the day after is always just damage control
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
