i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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