Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
