So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
