I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
