Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize