Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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