so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize