have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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