her facebook's as public as her vagina
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize