Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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