just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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