If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
