In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i love accidental penises.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Randomize