True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
