the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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