we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
