FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
