i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
