The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
