She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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