"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
