There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
