Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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