yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I could fuck to npr.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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