So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
