You don't have asthma, your pregnant
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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