He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Less talking, more tequila
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
