I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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