im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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