i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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