Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize