I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
