Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
