We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
