Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
