I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize