He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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