Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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