how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
