Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
