I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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