In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
