Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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