sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
