sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Did I show you my penis last night?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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