Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize