I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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