Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is this the sara with the beer cane?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
