you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
