Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I can text with my tongue
I feel like abortions should bother me more
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
