so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
They are going to name an STD after you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
